Yo mama is so old
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama is so ugly
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”
Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”
Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower
Yo mama so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”
Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.
Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower!
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!
Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!
Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects!
Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!
Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!
Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama is so poor
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”
Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin’?” She said, “Buying luggage.”
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
