Short Blonde Jokes Collection II
Q .. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A .. I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Q .. Why can’t the blonde make ice cubes?
A .. She lost the recipe.
Q .. How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it?
A .. With a thought.
Q .. Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A .. The noise gave her a headache.
Q .. How does a blond know if she’s on her way home or on her way to work?
A .. She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.
Q .. What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A .. Perri-air.
Q .. Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A .. Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q .. When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A .. When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q .. Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A .. She missed.
Q .. What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond’s ear?
A .. Data transfer.
Short Blonde Jokes Collection I
Q .. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.
Q .. Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?
A .. The instructions stated, “good for up to 20 pounds”.
Q .. What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A .. A blonde at a blinking red light.
Q .. What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A .. A blonde parade.
Q .. What is the blonde’s highest ambition in life?
A .. They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q .. What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life.
A .. Third grade.
Q .. What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common?
A .. You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q .. How to you keep a blonde busy all day?
A .. Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q .. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A .. Run! She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Short Lawyer Jokes
Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
Q. What’s the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
Q. What’s the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
Q. Have you heard about the lawyersTM word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Q. What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
