The Monk and the Priest
A monk and a priest are driving down a street in differnt directions.
Oddly enough, they end up getting into a crash.
They both get out of their cars, infuriated that there had been a wreck.
But since both of them are men of god, they began to talk.
The priest says that it was fortunate for these two men of the cloth to have met in such a strange way.
The monk says that it was also lucky that his bottle of fine wine was left undamaged after such a great accident.
So, they decide to celebrate.
The priest ends up drinking almost all of the wine.
And just as there’s about a drink left in the whole bottle, the priest asks the rabbi if he would like a drink.
The monk shrugs and says “No thanks, I’ll just wait for the police to arrive.”
Religion Jokes: Two Trouble Makers
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”
They boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. “Where is God?”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God!?”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: “We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!”
Religious Boy
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.
This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and “do it” for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he’d like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
“Oh I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in.”
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down.
Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, “I had no idea you were so religious.”
The boy turns and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
