One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas.
As it turns out, the owner of the gas station was Hillary’s old high school boyfrined. They exchanged hello’s and brief chit-chat before the former White House couple went on their way.
As they were making their way back home, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, “Well, honey… if you had stayed with him, you would now be the wife of a service station owner.”
She smirked and replied, “No Bill, if I had stayed with him… he would have been the President of the United States!”
A freshly elected Barrack Obama is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen when a little man comes up to him.
“Excuse me Mr. President but my name is Jason Prins and I’m here with an extremely important client tonight. We’re going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, “Hello Jason”.
President Obama, eager to please, readily agrees and fifteen minutes later, the little man walks by deep in conversation with his client. Obama approached him and said ” Hello Jason.”
The little man says “F**k off, Barrack! I’m in a meeting!” and keeps walking.
Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing under the bridge pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, ‘I want to go to Disneyland ‘
Barack said, ‘No problem, I’ll take you there on my plane.’
The second kid said, ‘I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.’
Barack said, ‘I’ll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!’
The third kid said, ‘ I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!’
Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, ‘But you don’t look like you’re handicapped.’
The kid said, ‘I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!’