3 blondes
A Policeman was drilling 3 blondes, who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the 1st blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers ” That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye”
The policeman says “Well…Uh.. that’s because the picture shows his profile” Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asked her “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says “Ha! He’d be easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and ear are showing because it’s a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?” Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He adds quickly “….think hard before giving a stupid answer”
The Blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says “HMMMM… the suspect is wearing contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless, because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that is a good answer.. wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I’ll get back to you on that” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“WoW! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contacts lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!”
Driving home very drunk
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn’t coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
“Are you Mr. Johnson?” the asked? He admitted that he was.
“Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?” Again, the man admitted that was he.
“And what did you do then,” the troopers asked.” The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
“Where is your car now?” the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
“May we see the car?” asked the troopers. The man answered, “Sure,” and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
The speeding husband
This Policeman pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
“I was only going 40!” the driver protested.
“Not according to my radar,” the officer replied.
“Yes, I was!” the man shouted back.
“No you weren’t!” the policeman said, starting to get annoyed. With that, the man’s wife leaned toward the window and said,
“Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he’s been drinking.”
