Short Christmas Jokes
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
The letter “D” !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat’s Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he’s Sooty !
The Monk and the Priest
A monk and a priest are driving down a street in differnt directions.
Oddly enough, they end up getting into a crash.
They both get out of their cars, infuriated that there had been a wreck.
But since both of them are men of god, they began to talk.
The priest says that it was fortunate for these two men of the cloth to have met in such a strange way.
The monk says that it was also lucky that his bottle of fine wine was left undamaged after such a great accident.
So, they decide to celebrate.
The priest ends up drinking almost all of the wine.
And just as there’s about a drink left in the whole bottle, the priest asks the rabbi if he would like a drink.
The monk shrugs and says “No thanks, I’ll just wait for the police to arrive.”
Love making
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
- Last night I made love to my wife four times, the Frenchman bragged, and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.
- Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,the Italian responded, and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man.
When the Englishman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked:
- And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?
- Once, he replied.
- Only once? the Italian arrogantly snorted. And what did she say to you this morning?
- Dont stop.
