The last question of the interview
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the first candidate.
“Yes. You have no ears.”
He quickly eliminated the first candidate.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the second candidate.
“Yes. You have no ears.”
He quickly eliminated the second candidate.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the third candidate.
“Yes. You’re wearing contacts.”
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, “That’s correct. How did you know?”
“You can’t wear glasses if you don’t have any freakin’ ears.”
I almost got caught yesterday
Three sardar Santa, Banta & Ghanta worked in the same office under the same boss.
Each day, the boss left work early.
One day, they all decided that when the boss left they would leave too.
After all, he never called or came back to work, so how would he know they went home early? The Bunta Singh was thrilled to be home early.
He did a little gardening, had some playtime with his son, and went to bed early.
The Ghanta Singh was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The Santa Singh was happy to get home early and surprise her wife. But when he got home, he heard a muffled noise coming from inside his bedroom.
Slowly and quietly, he cracked open the door and was mortified to see his wife in bed with his boss! Gently, he closed the door and crept out of his house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the Banta and Ghanta said they planned to leave early again, and they asked the Santa if he was going to go with them.
“No way,” he said. “I almost got caught yesterday!”
What Job Ads Really Mean
Competitive Salary
We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
Join our fast-paced company
We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere
We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Some overtime required
Some every night and some every weekend.
Duties will vary
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail
We have no quality assurance.
Career-minded
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.
Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
Problem-solving skills a must
You’re walking into perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Good communication skills
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
