Blonde’s School Day
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, “Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten….. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”
The mother responds, “Very good honey.” The blonde asks, “Is that because I’m a blonde mommy?” And the mother responds, “Yes dear.”
Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, “Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! …. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!”
The mother says, “Very good honey.” The blonde then asked. “Is that because I’m a blonde, Mommy?” The mother responds, “Yes dear.”
The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I’m a blonde, Mommy?”
And the mother responds, “No Honey, it’s because you’re twenty five.”
Mule in demand
One day, a farmer’s mother-in-law came down to his farm.
A few days later, she was killed when the mule on the farm kicked her.
Thousands of people from town who had heard about the death came to the poor lady’s funeral, some that the farmer didn’t even know.
A minister noticed this, came up to the farmer, and asked, “Why are there so many people here?”
The farmer answered, “Oh, their not here for the funeral, they want to buy the mule.”
American Pie
Actual news clipping: A teenager who tried to copy a scene from the hit file ‘American Pie’ by shagging an apple pie was rushed to the hospital with serious burns to his penis.
Dwight Emburger, 17, couldn’t wait for the tasty pastry to cool down and after he slid in his pecker he was badly scalded by the hot filling.
A hospital spokesman in Boise, Idaho, said: ‘This demonstrates that producers should consider the effect their films have on young and impressionable people.’
I think the hospital spokesman should have been more worried about horny young idiots, than about impressionable young people.