Why Do Old People Jump Red Light?
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself ‘I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.’
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, ‘Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!’
Mildred turned to her and said, ‘Oh, crap, am I driving?’
Ugly baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said, ‘That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
‘The bus driver insulted me,’ she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: ‘Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.’
‘You’re right’ she said. ‘I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.’
‘That’s a good idea’ the man said. ‘Here, let me hold your monkey.’
When its OK to abuse traffic cop
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?’
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.
