Never drink twice
An American, an Australian and a Canadian were sitting in a bar enjoying a few beers.
The American grabbed his Budweiser beer, knocked it back in one gulp, threw the glass into the air, and shot it with his handgun. As he set the gun on the bar, he said to the Australian and the Canadian, “In the great U.S. of America we have so much money, we never drink out of the same glass twice”.
Next the Australian drank his Fosters beer, threw the glass into the air, and shot the glass with the American`s gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he proclaimed, “In Australia, we have so much sand that glass is cheap, and we too never drink out of the same glass twice”.
Finally, the Canadian drank his Labatts Blue beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian, “In Canada, we have so many Americans, we never have to drink with the same one twice”.
Received by e-mail from Michelle Baudoin. Thanks!
Great reason to drink beer!
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Having a drink at the local tavern
An Irishman, an Italian, and a Pollack were having a drink together at the local tavern.
The Irishman says, “…You know, where I’m from, there’s a bar called “O’Mally’s”, where you buy a drink, then you buy another drink, and then O’Mally himself buys you a drink.”
The Italian then says, “Well….where I’m from, there’s a place called “Vinnie’s”, where you buy a drink, then Vinnie buy you a drink, then you buy another drink, and then Vinnie buys you another drink..”
The Pollack then says “Well…where I come from, there’s a bar where they buy you a drink, then they buy you another drink, and then they buy you another drink, and then they take you in back, and then you get laid !”.
The Irishman and the Italian both respond with, “Gee….that sounds like a great place ! Have you ever been there ?”
“No…” said the Pollack, “….but my sister has ….”
