14 Things NOT to Say on Dates for Guys
- “And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.”
- “Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.”
- “Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwear hit the ground… Man! I never knew Jehovah’s Witnesses could run that fast.”
- “I know you said you don’t eat anything with a face.But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.”
- “I like clay. It’s mushy.”
- “I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.”
- “I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.”
- “I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years.Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.”
- “I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you.”
- “I used to come here all the time with my ex.”
- “It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.”
- “Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?”
- “No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it’s not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.”
- “People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.”
What Difference Time Can Make
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I’m home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today?
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit in the living room.
6 years : Here’s the money and buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : DAMM PICK UP THE PHONE!
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don’t you worry, I’ll never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don’t do it again.
6 years : What’s not to understand about what I just said?
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What’s so bad about going to Istanbul on a ship?
6 years : Travel? What’s so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I’m going to watch SPORTS CHANNEL, if you’re not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
