Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention
100,000 blondes are gathered for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “18!” Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 100,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 100,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “90?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 100,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, “OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?” The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “4?”. Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 100,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream … Give her another chance! Give her another chance!
Blondes: Questions and Answers
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What’s the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Why don’t blonds play frisbee?
A: It hurts their teeth.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A: They can’t find the zipper.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A: She tried to drown it.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
3 blondes
A Policeman was drilling 3 blondes, who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the 1st blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers ” That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye”
The policeman says “Well…Uh.. that’s because the picture shows his profile” Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asked her “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says “Ha! He’d be easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and ear are showing because it’s a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?” Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He adds quickly “….think hard before giving a stupid answer”
The Blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says “HMMMM… the suspect is wearing contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless, because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that is a good answer.. wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I’ll get back to you on that” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“WoW! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contacts lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!”
