Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
Blonde in the appliance store
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says “I would like to buy that T.V. please”.
The store clerk replies “Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes”.
So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black.
The next day, she went back to the same store and said “I would like to buy that T.V. please”.
The store clerk, once again, replies “Sorry, we dont do business with blondes”.
The blonde replied “How did you know I was blonde?”
The clerk says “Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.”
A blonde go icefishing
A blonde decides to go icefishing so she heads out early one morning, sets her equipment up on the ice, and begins to drill a hole. She then hears a voice from above that says, “There’s no fish down there.”
Disappointed, she drags her equipment 50 yards further onto the ice. Again she begins drilling a hole and hears the voice again: “There’s no fish down there.”
Disgusted, she drags her equipment clear to the other side of the ice, again she begins to drill, and the voice repeats, “There’s no fish down there.”
She looks up and says, “God, is that you?”
The voice replies, “No, it’s the arena manager.”