Writing in the snow
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, he sees “The President Must Die” written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is ticked. He storms into the Secret Service compound and yells, “There’s a death threat on the front lawn! And it’s written in urine!
I want to know who did it, and I want to know NOW.”
The Secret Service agents scurry for the door. That evening, the chief agent approaches Clinton and says, “Mr. President, we have some bad news and some really bad news. Which do you want first?”
Clinton says, “Give me the bad news first.”
The agent says, “Sir, we tested a sample of the urine. The results just came back. The urine belongs to Al Gore.”
“Oh my god,” Clinton says. “I feel so … betrayed! My own vice president!
What’s the *really* bad news?”
“Sir, the handwriting belongs to Hillary.”
Self confidence
One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas.
As it turns out, the owner of the gas station was Hillary’s old high school boyfrined. They exchanged hello’s and brief chit-chat before the former White House couple went on their way.
As they were making their way back home, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, “Well, honey… if you had stayed with him, you would now be the wife of a service station owner.”
She smirked and replied, “No Bill, if I had stayed with him… he would have been the President of the United States!”
