Baseball hat FAIL
Hilarious signs
Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”
Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “We can help you pick your nose!”
On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
Over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
Blonde Diet and Exercise
A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.
“No, from skipping.”
