Top 10 things not to say on your Anniversary
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here’s a $5 gift certificate for McDonald’s.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I’ll take you to Pizza Hut if it’ll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.
Human Light Bulb
A Doctor of psycology is making his rounds. He enters a patient room.
Patient #1 is pretending to saw a piece of wood and Patient #2 is hanging upside down from the ceiling. The doctor ask what are you guys doing? Patient #1 says ‘Can’t you see I am sawing some wood?, ‘ and my friend he is slightly crazy. He seems to think he is a light bulb.’
The doctor says, ‘If he is your friend, don’t you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?’
Patient #1 looks up and says,’ What?!…And work in the dark?’
A Natural Blind
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The man says back to the blind man, “Look buddy, I’m blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, “Nah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”
