Tasty lawyer
The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, “Hey! Cut it out, all right!”
The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, “I said stop it!”
The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, “What is it with you, anyway?”
The rear tiger replies, “Well, I just ate a lawyer and I’m trying to get the taste out of my mouth!”
Three racehorses like to brag
Three racehorses were sitting in a bar bragging to each other about their life accomplishments.
The first horse boasts “I’ve been in 59 races and I’ve won 35 of them.”
“That’s nothing,” says the second horse. “I’ve raced 97 times, and I’ve won 78 of them!”
The third horse joins in: “Well, I’ve raced 122 times and I’ve won 102!”
Just then, the horses hear a voice say, “I’ve got you all beat!”
The horses look down and see a greyhound.
“I’ve raced over 200 times, and I have NEVER lost!”
The horses look at the dog in amazement.
One of them says “How about that! A talking dog!”
Horse sense
A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor man with a beautiful white horse. He told the man that he would give him $500 for the horse.
The poor man replied, “I don’t know mister, it don’t look so good,” and walked away.
The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man $1000 for the horse.
The poor man said, “I don’t know mister, it don’t look so good.”
On the third day the rich man offered the poor man $2000 for the horse, and said he wouldn’t take no for an answer. The poor man agreed, and the rich man took the horse home.
The rich man’s daughter loved her present. She climbed onto the horse, then galloped right into a tree. The rich man rushed back over to the poor man’s house, demanding an explanation for the horse’s blindness.
The poor man replied, “I told you it don’t look so good.”