Old Man Love
What a drag it is getting old…
When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed this old boy about 75-80 years sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.
I stopped and asked him what was wrong.
He said: “I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!” He continued; “He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee.”
I said: “Well, then why are you crying?”
He said: “He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon.”
I said: “Well, so why are you crying?”
He said: “For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am.”
I said: “Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!”
And he said: “I CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!”
Short Blonde Jokes Collection IV
Q .. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A .. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.
Q .. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A .. Change.
Q .. What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A .. “Thanks for the refill!”
Q .. What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A .. A whine cellar.
Q .. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A .. An Air Bag.
Q .. What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A .. A mental block.
Q .. What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A .. A wind tunnel.
Q .. What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A .. A dope ring.
Q .. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A .. Divorcee’
Q .. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A .. Pregnant.
Short Blonde Jokes Collection III
Q .. What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
A .. The back of her head.
Q .. What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A .. Artificial intelligence.
Q .. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A .. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q .. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A .. They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q .. What does a blonde owl say?
A .. What, what?
Q .. What’s the Blonde’s cheer?
A .. ” I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N….ah, oh well.. I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea yea yea…”
Q .. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A .. From crawling across the street when the sign said “don’t walk”.
Q .. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A .. So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.
Q .. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A .. She saw “911″ on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
