Very Bad News
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka.
The bartender says, “Six shots?! What’s wrong?”
“I found out my older brother is gay,” replied the man.
The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
“What now?” asked the bartender. “I found out my younger brother is gay,” replied the man.
The night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
“Jeez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?” asked the bartender.
The man replied, “Yeah, my wife does.”
I love bowling
There Is Only One Thing That A Drunk Desires
A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.
“You have three wishes, choose them wisely.” says the Genie.
The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, “I want a beer that will never run out.”
*Poof*
A bottle appears in front of the guy. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. The guy being very content starts walking away.
“Where are you going,” asks the Genie, “You still have two wishes left!”
“Well,” replies the guy, “Give me TWO more of these!”
